Asked what is the opposite of natural, some Brits would say Jordan, some Americans might mention Joan Rivers and beauty lovers the world over would say it is chemical and 52% of us actively seek out chemical-free, aka organic, skincare.  But get this, two years ago, The Royal Society of Chemistry announced a £1 million prize for the first company to create a product that the RSC considers to be 100% chemical-free. Nobody’s won it yet because, as the RSC explains: “The truth is that everything we eat, drink, drive, play with and live in is made of chemicals – both natural and synthetic chemicals are essential for life as we know it.” Derr, stupido.

The trendy skincare range Nude (from Ali Hewson, Bono’s wife) tackles the issue like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. “When creating our range we researched organic ingredients, but the organic alternatives were not guaranteed to deliver the high-performance results we believed were essential in an anti-ageing range. We believe it is more important to deliver incredible results than be just another organic brand.” Blimey, pity the poor kids of that pull-no-punches copywriter. Imagine them asking about Santa – or worse, where babies come from?

Nude is right about the results though especially from its Replenishing Facial Oil, which is one of the best natural face creams around. Lets not bother listing the ingredients, now we’ve established they’re nice and natural… and yet nasty and chemical. Enough to say, use it and you’ll feel your face has been carressed by angels (surely cherubs aren’t chemical?). It’s not cheap, £44 for 15ml but swerve to avoid all those annoying people currently looking for sponsorship for Sports Relief and you’ll be able to afford it. And although it costs, the oil is a bit like Christmas, it seems to last forever.